Pushmonkeys and Calling-stations oh my

Quick rundown of a few hands from today just because I feel they bring up a few topics that I want to elaborate on.

First topic and examples. The intermittent calling-station. This is the guy that doesn’t have the image at the table of being a calling-station, but for one or more hands he opens the bank. Hand 1 – I have AA. I raise 5xBB; he calls. Flop J-high. I raise it pot. He calls. I’m wondering now. Turn 9, I think. I bet big again, but not quite pot. He calls. Now I am scared that he is slow-rolling his set. River is a 6. Probably a bad bet on my part, but I only have a 3rd or so of the pot left so I put it in. A more sound play would have been to check/call this river, now that I think more about it. He calls again. He turns over AQ. WTF. I do not get this hand what so ever. I am totally befuddled. I should have added him to my buddy list. Hand 2 – I raise 5xBB with QQ; he calls. Flop 7-high. He checks. I bet pot and he calls. Check again from him to the J that hits on the turn. I bet big again and he calls. Ok he is playing me like a punk; I can sense the asswhipping coming. River he checks. I don’t even need to think about it so I check behind him. He shows down A7o. I once again have no clue her, but at least this dude had top pr on the flop. This is the first hand that I saw him play this horribly. Honestly, he didn’t even stand out for me. This might have more to do with the amount of tables that I play at once than due to him not showing this calling-station pattern. Maybe he thought that he had the best hand on the flop and thereafter just had a bad read on my holdings. This is the likely case IMO. So he should have raised me right there on the flop and got some info to where he stood in the hand. This is why I hate the calling style and I think you lose more money in the hands by just calling the other guy down; you have no idea where you’re at. Plus, this is why you will never see me call a PF raise with A7o. You hit TPTK and you are nowhere near in the lead on the hand.

Second topic and examples. World had a few Pushmonkeys at both tables. 2 at 1 tab and 1 at the other. I tangled twice in the ½ hr that I sat with them. I had one right to my right, which is exactly where you want a pushmonkey. He is in mid position a pushes his $4. I call with 88. (I don’t make this call with any one than a pushmonkey, especially not from MP.) Everyone obliges me and allows my isolation. Pushmoney turns over 55. His 20% chance doesn’t show up and it is Ash 1 – Pushmonkeys 0. Now lets forward the action, due to time constraints – Other table, 2 pushmoneys. Pushmonkey shoves $6 worth of chips into the center, for like the 6th time since I sat down, from EP. I have JJ in MP. I raise to $10. A guy in LP takes his whole time as I sweet out my huge bet with a semi-strong holding which is quite vulnerable. He finally folds and I let out a breath of relief. Push-boy turns over AKo and we are off to the races. My horse wins and it Ash 2 – Pushmoneys 0.

Pushmonkey: (Retardo erectus) Player that buys in for a small amount and pushes all of their chips into the pot when they get a good starting hand.

I will try to explain my theory and thoughts on this phenomenon. If you have anything to add to my thoughts, I would be happy to read. I think the overwhelming reason that they play this style is because they are afraid of their postflop skills. I think they are insecure with their abilities to out-play the players at the table. Basically they are intimidated so they just want to get their money in with a decent hand and hope for the best. Her are some of their traits. Some are tighter than others but these are mostly the hands you can expect them to push with: any Prs, KQs, AKs, AKo, AQs, AQo, KQs, KQo, and the looser version of push-fag even adds in weaker holdings like AJs, AJo, ATs, ATo, KJs, and QJs. I haven’t noticed any playing stronger or weaker holds in different positions; they just seem to push from anywhere as long as their starting requirements are met. There is no skill to this game, though it does put the table on edge. A lot of TAG and weak- tight players loosen up, including myself, and begin playing slightly above marginal hands against them. Everyone at the table is hoping to get a hand before the ATM runs out money and leaves the table pissed. These guys give some bad beats out while at the tables, as well as, winning allins that the other players would have normally never gotten into in the first place. So, basically the whole table is on tilt. A hot-bed of activity, often with 3 or 4 people going allin PF. It is truly crazy when the monkeys are out of their cages.