My Current Addiction

By the way I don't know who this tard is - I googled addiction.

I’m currently pretty addicted again. Poker lives in my thoughts most of my waking hrs. But the big difference between this time and many times before in the last 3 or 4 years, is that I play almost solely at night, as to not interfere with my time with my family. I am working hard at that. Poker pops in my head often and I actually have to stop myself from going to the computer. My mind tries different plots all the time to find reasons that I should play. It is crazy I’m telling you. Excuses will pop in there and I have to tell myself to stop BS’ing and just deal with not playing for a few hrs. Sad really. I took a few months off as my few regulars well know. Obviously when I go from 20 posts a month to 3 or 6. But at least it isn’t making me neglect my family this year other than my internal struggle to band poker thoughts all damn day long. I will keep fighting and it that way, in regards to not letting it affect family life. Otherwise I don’t really see where it is a negative thing. It doesn’t affect my Psychology studies because I usually only study at work anyways. I don’t use my family’s money to support my habit. I would be playing games or some other random addiction with my free time anyways. At least this addiction has always made us money, due to winning poker play and strick bankroll management, and on multiple occasions supplemented our income or helped pay for emergencies or expensive repairs or down payments. Starting halfway though last year and to date my wife has been out of work without pay due to a work-related injury so lat year my winnings really helped out and so far this year my live roll has been needed on a few occasions. I have as of yet just kept enough seed money to not dip into our money; the rest has gone to the family in one way on another. I’m not trying to justify my addiction, well I guess I am, but it does have its positive side. Oh yea, I almost forgot to mention another aspect of my poker addiction: Poker related merchandise. We have been tinkering around with E-bay, selling off my old “addictions” LOL: Books, comics, cards, video games, DVD’s, and odds and ends. We have made around $400 or more. I have spend over $100 of those earnings on poker shit, “that I just had to have.” I bought 2 Full Tilt Matusow jerseys off E-bay, as well as, a bulk lot of plastic cards with 36 decks, a Teddy KGB card guard, and the 2004 DVD edition of Rounders. I have also spent a lot of sites’ points for and odds book, poker shirts, and a hoodie: Stars shirt, UB shirt, FT hoodie and 2 different styled shirts. Plus I was playing live very often. But all in all, I’m happy with where I’m at currently in my poker career. Hey, maybe addiction is good sometimes! I need my fix baby!!!