Famous Last Words

…Things were looking good. The river brought my flush, but it also paired the board…

Even Steven or Son-of-a

I got on Tuesday and played awhile. My bro got on and since we were going to play together I dropped 2 tables so we could concentrate on 1 table. I suggested that we bump it up to a $50 6-max game. I’d been playing 3 $25 tables so 1 $25 just seemed like it wouldn’t give me my fix. I need that rush, baby. Stupid move on my part. I set up a new database in PT and got on. There was a guy that was 75/15/3 or something very close. Even without HUD going it was obvious that this was the guy to target. Pretty early on I get AQs and call his PF raise. I get my A on the flop. I smooth-call his bet. Or I thought I did. Turn x and I raise his bet this time. He calls. Q hits the river giving me Aces-up. He bets; I push. He calls and shows down a flopped set of 3’s. I go on to lose another $25 with TPTK against someone different. He has to go to work, which was a good thing, because I could be a punk and drop back down to my new home: the perpetual $25NL tables.

I set my database back and startup my 3 tables again. I played for a little while and recouped the $75 with some big hands. I took off a few hrs and hung-out with the Fam. I ended up going to bed at 10pm or so. I didn’t take my sleeping pills purposely because I needed to stay up all night, due to having to work Wednsday night shift. I woke up at 2am and went and got on. I was tired and should have played super-tight while I was getting the lethargy from my system. I got in a few big hands and dropped a few buyins. That woke my ass up real quick like. I had been playing for 20 or 30 mins and then just realized that I had forgotten to hit the start timer in PT. It didn’t even dawn on me that the stats never popped up on most players after 25 hands. Only the stats for people that I had already logged were showing up. So the ass-whippin’ got the sleep out of my eyes and I set in for the long grind. I got back to even at about 6am and then took a few bad beats this time to drop me down again for the session. I was sick of it so I went to bed.

I checked PT for the 5 day session I’ve been on. I played 5000 hands or so. I lost $50. So that’s -$1/100 or –4ptbb/100. I paid out $70 in rake. I also accrued $50 in the points program, so ultimately I am even for the week. That really sucks my friends. I apparently have more leaks than I thought. One variable might also be that I am new to the 6-max game. At least I didn’t lose any money this week. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

'81 WSOP Main Event

Give these vids a look-see. It is the ’81 WSOP Main Event. There were bad beats back then also. LOL. You can tell by the clothes and hair that disco hadn’t quite died yet. Thank god that it did. It looks like a poker party at Dirk Digler’s house. There is also an old fat dude at the final table with a top hat on. There’s even a young Texas Dolly in the background. (He must have busted out earlier, because I’m pretty sure he wasn’t just there to watch the show. $10,000 is a lot of money now, so you could likely buy a nice car for that kind of loot. Stu Ungar is the defending Champ. Young Stu is only slightly less ugly that older Stu. I doubt Pepsi was knocking down his door to do any commercials With all the parts it is around 60 min long. So sit back, plug in the lava lamp, turn on some Bee Gee’s, and watch some U-tube with me.



Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Slow-rollin'

Turbulent Sleep or

I did something weird last night...err, well I did 2 weird things last night. One is private and very sick; the other one more mundane, but unusual as of late. I went to sleep while it was still dark outside. I actually went to bed at 11pm. I didn't take my prescribed sleeping pills like I was supposed to because I planned on getting up to play after Ash-wife went to sleep. I decided to stay in bed though. Of course I tossed and turned most of the night, awaking from stage 1 and 2 dreams over and over. I never got lucky and found that 3-way dream either, but I did use that special sock anyways... and the curtains... and sadly the wall. Actually I did the wall first and just tidied up with the sock and the curtain. Who says guys can't clean.

I basically played poker for my 4 days off and made like 15 smackers as of yet. And I put in some big hrs. I was up like as high as $80 and low as -$2. So my UB bankroll currently sits at $287. I also loaned out $50 to BR the bro. And I have $200 or so across Stars, Tilt, and Epassporte. You take out rake - I'm up big. You take out my shit play - I'm up big. I can only do so much with rake, so I need to focus on my bad plays. And not just results oriented bad plays - no bad plays in general. The results just make me more aware to look at those particular hands. One of my biggest problems I see is investing too much in drawy hands. I need to keep those pots small so when I miss I'm not out much. I'll estimate about half of those hands I could have kept the pot smaller. I don't know if I would make more money in the long-run by keeping small pots when I miss or making big bigger pots hoping to hit. I know, small when I miss and large when I hit. Brilliant. Only if were that easy, shit if I could magically or at least technologically see there hole cards every hand, that would be great too. I'll have to look into that. Well, it is something that I am going to focus on hard and tweek to help out the bottonline. As for the rake issue, there's only so much one can really do. UB has a weekly turn points to cash program, which I will make this week. Hopefully for $50 and not just $25. That just shows how much I played these days off. I hope to get to 1000 points and that's a shitload of hands at the $25 stakes. Also, my wife is planning on buying Ash-boy a laptop soon. I plan on downloading my programs and commandeering it when he doesn't have homework. God, I'm selfish. Can you imagine my being able to run around the house freely, cooking, or more correctly stated, snacking, and being able to play while taking a piss or dropping a bomb. If you are currently imagining me taking a dump, I would very much like you to go ahead and cease that right about now... veins protruding out on my forehead and that deep furrow between my brow. Damnit, I said stop picturing it. But if you do picture me pissing, hook a brotha up and add some major length to my man-junk. BTW, if you guys are done imagining me at my private tasks, lets get back to my rake issues if you please. With the new laptop and new IP address I can create a new UB account and get rakebreak. So, with the rakebreak, the points bonus (which lowers the rakebreak % slightly) and the occasional reload bonus, I should be able to cut down my rake significantly and make some better earnings. But ultimately I need to work on my leaks.

I have to go back on night shift tomorrow night, so it didn't really make any sense to have slept last night. But when do I ever do the sensible thing. Hell, I never should have done all those drugs when I was a kid, or for that matter, watched that Mexican donkey show. Damn, mine eyes!! I plan on putting in a super session today and tonight, with some family breaks thrown in of course. What was that which Greb commented last week: Family can be -EV for the bankroll. You're truly a sad piece of work Sir.

I have a Vid I will post today or tomorrow. I enjoyed it very much. And the retro clothes and hair styles were the cat's ass. Um... I really don't know where that saying came from, but for some reason the cat's ass means good.

Later Donkass out.

Donkass Donks Off Some Earnings

I played like a total nimrod. I was down $75 within 30 min of playing. I just couldn't get away from a few hands where I knew I was beat. Afterward, I played well even though I didn't win any back. One of those times when you win one then you lose one. The ol' yig-yag session. I think I will try not to mix it up until I get a little time under my belt and get into the flow of the game. Easier said than done, but I will try. I ended up dropping $80 or so.

I didn't start until late last night because we had an impromptu home game. Dougie called and we started up a small game at 6pm. That really worked out nice. I was home by 11pm.

It was just 4 of us. D, C, AJ, and me. AJ has become a regular and the only player that I have to watch out for. He tried all night long to slow-roll me, but luckily I dodged his tricks except for a few small pots. It is hard for me to win anything off of him. He respects my game too much for some reason and misses value bets, which is advantageous, but he also folds to my aggression often. He also often folds PF even if I limp into a hand. He once folded a flopped flush where he held T4s. I flopped 2 pr and when he bet the flop I raised hard to see if I was beat or not. He thinks long and hard, then he throws in his flush face-up. I show and he just shakes his head.

I played great. I ran the short table the whole session; 2 nice runs of cards helps too. I hit sets 4 times, twice with aces. D bought in twice and C bought thrice. I kept taking their money and talking them into reloading. I felt like a pusher-man. Get your fix here... I have got's da good shit baby... You can't win 'less you play baby... It takes money to make money... Bitch where's my money... etc., etc, and on I pimp my hoes.

Big hand of the night was the last hand of the night. I rasie PF with A9s. C calls. Flop comes A9x-small. C looks at his cards hard and long. So I know he has something. He is a huge calling station. He always goes for the Um-possibles. he then just checks, I bet, he calls. A on turn and daddy likely. I check after he does. X-small and he opens this round. I more than double. He announces a raise and never even looks up. I realize that he has the other Ace and was smooth-calling the whole hand and going for the kill. He thinks if he doesn't look at me I will think weakness. I'll have to remember that. I asked what he had left and told him that I'd put him all-in. He pouts and says that he had to call. He shows ATo and I rake in all his cash. We call it a night. I won $65. AJ won almost $25. This is the third time in a row that C has lost and the third time I've won. I am glad, honestly that he has been knocked down a notch. He was ridin' too cocky. The bragging has ceased. Reality his descended upon him and hopefully humbled him somewhat.

Edit: I just remembered that I didn't proof read this early this morning before I went to bed. Boy was it rough. So sorry to anyone that read it before I fixed it.

Poker Broker

I dropped by Mr Subliminal's blog and saw this pic. I saw it earlier on Waffles' spot. It still makes me laugh.

Vendetta-tilt or Good Night

Good night last night. I made a few miss-steps early on. It is almost like I need to work the donk plays out of myself through pain and embarrassment. Then I usually tighten-up a bit and stop loosely chasing draws. Anyway, I made $80 for the night 3-tabling 6-max $25NL.

One issue that I need to work on is allowing certain players to put me on tilt against them. I'll have a loose player or total donk hit some crap on me and I will spend extra time trying to get my money back. I will loosen up against that player and play all paint and any type of coordinated boards to try to get redemption. I am especially vulnerable to this vendetta-tilt if they antagonize me in the girly chat. I don't ever type anything after a beat but often another player will berate their play and then they will start bragging. My ego swells and I go into payback mode. Often I lose more money to these assholes because they either hit some crap on me or more likely I get into a fight with them with a junk kicker or marginal holding that I normally wouldn't even play. Often this perpetuates me into total tilting donkdom.

Case in point. I get in a hand with a guy that just steps onto the table 2 cycles prior with $5. In those first 2 circuits at the table he is in 3/4 of the pots, often winning with questionable kickers and gets up to $12. This dude's handle was Gotchanigga. Likely some young punk that thinks he's funny with his racist screen name. You'd think UB would oust those kinda names. I flop 2pr on a pretty innocuous board. He bets, I double his bet. He pushes the rest of his $12. I gladly call. He hits a gut-buster straight-draw. He then writes in all caps: GOTCHA NIGGA. This was very racist towards me, because I am packing a mammoth package (not only in total length but also in overall girth) with a gargantuan afro of a man-bush, so obviously there is some black somewhere in my lineage. This was a totally pathetic statement and put me on insta-tilt. I then blew the rest of that buy-in until he leaves 30 mins or so later. God was I mad. After he left I calmed down and began to play my normal game again. This definitely is a leak and is something that need to work on. My Psychology book should have a chapter on poker. That would be cool.

No other big hands to report. OK, well, one more. I limp with A2s and get raised to 6xBB or so. I get adventurous and call. Flop comes 543 rainbow. Booya. I cha-check. He bets pot. I figure him for high PP. Obviously , odds of 76 or 62 are super low. I raise him hard. He pushes; I call $35 total. 6 turn. 7 river. He shows AA and we spit the pot. Even though I didn't lose here, I felt cheated. I'll stop whining now.

Later.

The 3-way or Going for the Draws Hits Home

Last night was a long grueling grind. I dropped 2 buy-ins in the first couple of hrs. Both buy-ins were due to me semi-bluffing with a nut flush draw. Well, one of those I wasn't the aggressor, I actually called a double all-in with my monster draw. Probably not a good move, but just like all guys, I couldn't withstand the allure of my first 3-way. This 3-way didn't turnout well for the whole group though. (I've heard it can be like that.) Only 1 person climaxed, there was an awkward silence, and 2 of us were left unfulfilled, broke, and riveted by thoughts of what might have been. OK, enough with the innuendo for now. I think that I got a little caught-up in the aggressiveness and fast-paced nature of 6-max early on. I then tightened up my belt another notch and sat back and waited for good hands so I could pounce, like a dormant seed patiently waiting for the first rays of spring. I sat for hrs and slowly some nice hands came my way. And when they did, I sprang forth and germinated all over their faces. Oops, their goes that innuendo again. In the wee morning hrs I got back to even and actually was up slightly. Then, BANG, 2 horrible bad beats within 20 mins on the same table and there I am down 2 freakin' buy-ins again. The first was a runner-runner double-gutbuster straight.( I think I actually pooped just a little in my drawers when he showed down that shit. 2nd one was a 4-outer gut-shot draw semi-bluff that I correctly called with one card left, with my set; the river brings his miracle. But hey, I did hit a 2-outer earlier in the night of my own, when my QQ ran into AA PF vs an AGRO bastard that was raise 1/4 of the time PF. It was 6am in the morning and I was totally tilting. I took my sleeping pills and hit the dream world to see if I could tune my REM stage onto a fantasy 3-way channel. I keep that spare single sock by the bed just in case.

McDonald's

Every freakin' time I go to McDonald's, they screw up my order. I have to get out, go break in line, and tell them to fix my order and give me the rest of my caloric goodness. This used to really piss me off. I would ride home with my blood pressure boiling, contemplating their deaths, in horrible manners.

But not tonight - I walked in calmly, an with a polite and serene demeanor, asked the fat, overly-feminine, manager to remedy the situation. My psychology studies have really helped me out lately; the more I study the more I learn and understand human behavior and truly what really makes people tick. It didn't bother me that they messed up tonight because I now realize that they can't help it. They are, in scientific terms, what they refer to as, total incompetent, no-goal-setting, under-achieving, absolute, unadulterated, fucking, morons. And obviously that is why they work at Mickey-D's at 35 year's of age. It is also why they likely still live in mom's basement jerking off to sticky, old issues of Maxim Magazine, using discarded fryer grease to lube the ol' johnson up.

Man I'm telling you, these psych classes are honestly making a difference, giving me a positive view towards life. God I love education. Serenity now.

Later, Donkass out.