GOSH

New pet peeve: people that say racist when they mean prejudice. Ex: “That’s racist man, you shouldn’t pick on fat people.” OK then, let’s pick on dumb people because you’re in a race of your own. God, this aggravates the hell out of me.

I was doing a little archiving of my old blogroll and came across this diddy from TripJax. Give it a look-see - you will be glad you did.

Get Your Asses To Bed Kids

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

shit (17x) fucking (5x) bitch (4x) hurt (3x) fuck (2x) bitches (1x)

Give it a shot you sickos.

What the hell, you can't say hurt! What kind of kiddie party are we talking about here. You know what I say...FUCK IT!!!

Not About Poker But Damn Funny

Connors you sly dog you!

Slow-rollin'

Poker Broker

I dropped by Mr Subliminal's blog and saw this pic. I saw it earlier on Waffles' spot. It still makes me laugh.

The 3-way or Going for the Draws Hits Home

Last night was a long grueling grind. I dropped 2 buy-ins in the first couple of hrs. Both buy-ins were due to me semi-bluffing with a nut flush draw. Well, one of those I wasn't the aggressor, I actually called a double all-in with my monster draw. Probably not a good move, but just like all guys, I couldn't withstand the allure of my first 3-way. This 3-way didn't turnout well for the whole group though. (I've heard it can be like that.) Only 1 person climaxed, there was an awkward silence, and 2 of us were left unfulfilled, broke, and riveted by thoughts of what might have been. OK, enough with the innuendo for now. I think that I got a little caught-up in the aggressiveness and fast-paced nature of 6-max early on. I then tightened up my belt another notch and sat back and waited for good hands so I could pounce, like a dormant seed patiently waiting for the first rays of spring. I sat for hrs and slowly some nice hands came my way. And when they did, I sprang forth and germinated all over their faces. Oops, their goes that innuendo again. In the wee morning hrs I got back to even and actually was up slightly. Then, BANG, 2 horrible bad beats within 20 mins on the same table and there I am down 2 freakin' buy-ins again. The first was a runner-runner double-gutbuster straight.( I think I actually pooped just a little in my drawers when he showed down that shit. 2nd one was a 4-outer gut-shot draw semi-bluff that I correctly called with one card left, with my set; the river brings his miracle. But hey, I did hit a 2-outer earlier in the night of my own, when my QQ ran into AA PF vs an AGRO bastard that was raise 1/4 of the time PF. It was 6am in the morning and I was totally tilting. I took my sleeping pills and hit the dream world to see if I could tune my REM stage onto a fantasy 3-way channel. I keep that spare single sock by the bed just in case.

McDonald's

Every freakin' time I go to McDonald's, they screw up my order. I have to get out, go break in line, and tell them to fix my order and give me the rest of my caloric goodness. This used to really piss me off. I would ride home with my blood pressure boiling, contemplating their deaths, in horrible manners.

But not tonight - I walked in calmly, an with a polite and serene demeanor, asked the fat, overly-feminine, manager to remedy the situation. My psychology studies have really helped me out lately; the more I study the more I learn and understand human behavior and truly what really makes people tick. It didn't bother me that they messed up tonight because I now realize that they can't help it. They are, in scientific terms, what they refer to as, total incompetent, no-goal-setting, under-achieving, absolute, unadulterated, fucking, morons. And obviously that is why they work at Mickey-D's at 35 year's of age. It is also why they likely still live in mom's basement jerking off to sticky, old issues of Maxim Magazine, using discarded fryer grease to lube the ol' johnson up.

Man I'm telling you, these psych classes are honestly making a difference, giving me a positive view towards life. God I love education. Serenity now.

Later, Donkass out.

Comic Relief

I was perusing the blogiverse (that sounded ghey and I’ll never say it again, promise) and stopped by our favorite marathoner’s blog. IG has started posting a-comic-a-day segment. I read a lot of poker comics and figured why not be a total piece of mimicking shit and post some comics. But here’s my twist: I won’t do it every day. That makes me original, right? God I hate myself. So anyway, I will post the funny ones that I run across. I’ll have to archive back on a few sites and hit you with some memorable jokie-jokes.

SNAILTRAX

I drop by for the first time in a long time to read some of Doubleas wisdom and what do I find? A little linky-link to this sick realm of improprieties. I come lookin’ poker knowledge and I’m met with dick and fart jokes and ethnic epithets. I am thoroughly impressed with Daddy's demented wit as well as Doubleas usual great posts. OK, I’m done kissing ass. Good shit boys, keep it comin’. A new sheep has joined the herd of the lost. Now I know I have to start playing the weekly blogger events again.

Check it out guys, you'll laugh till you shit.

Sick

Sicker

sick as shit

Just wrong - horribly wrong

Phil Hellmuth Gets Pissed

These are some pretty funny clips. They had me rolling. Enjoy.

Phil snaps part 1

Phil snaps part 2

Phil snaps part 3